The Nightmare from Zelda's Lullaby
by Lady Lemonade
Summary: Sugar is bad for writers sometimes. Seriously. One day before school, Takuya tells Izumi about his dream from last night. Implied MimiIzumi, and apparent KoujiTakuya. Or IS it? Dun dun DUN! ...uhm... should this be rated T? ...err...


"AHHHH! Turn it off you dickhead! No more loops! No more loops! I SAID TURN IT **_OFF_**!" A hysterical females voice shrieked, barely audible over the blaring midi. Yes. Midi. Those nifty things that take a song and at times slightly remind you of techno even though it's not techno unless it really is a techno remix. The midi that was causing the entire house to almost literally shake was none other than 'Lost Woods', that catchy tune from Zelda. It's just so catchy… and when it gets stuck in your head, it'll be there until you DIE!

"_WHAT_!" A males voice yelled back, obviously not having heard a single word the female had said.

"I SAID TURN THAT STUPID SONG OFF BEFORE I GRAB THAT COMPUTER AND CHUCK IT OUT THE DAMN WINDOW YOU WISE-ASS!" The female hollered, and suddenly the music ceased to play and all in the house was quite. A female teen of around sixteen or seventeen stood in a doorway, huffing. Her blonde hair was down and could be found everywhere, including long bangs falling over her face giving her an insane look. Her blue eyes seemed as if the message her brain was typing on the computer inside her head had the following sentence, 'Omae o Korosu'. She was wearing a tank top, with one of the straps falling down her shoulder and shorts with the button undone, but the zipper zipped up. She had on one sock, with the other in her hand that was clenched tightly.

"Wow, is Mimi over already?" The male asked casually, a lopsided grin on. His brown hair was everywhere, apparently not even brushed yet. He had on fuzzy-looking red pajamas, which looked like you could die from the comfort level when you went to sleep in. Oh dude, just thinking about sleeping in warm fuzzy pajamas can send someone on cloud eight (cloud nine is for the couples). His reddish-brown eyes were apologetic, but also had a glint of amusement in them that showed he found the females messy look funny. His age seemed to be of the same as the females, and his skin was much tanner than hers.

"No, I'm getting ready for school. Unlike someone…" She stated, trailing. The male just grinned, before twirling around in his chair to face the computer. "I'm going back to the bathroom, don't play that song again. I just got it out of my head…" She murmured, heading away. Soon after the bathroom door down the hall gave a click, the male snickered. Okay, he wouldn't play 'Lost Woods'. Looking at the black flat screen monitor, covered in Neopet and anime stickers he tapped the down and over arrows searching for a specific midi he had downloaded recently. The computer desk was no more than just an average desk, with papers falling out of the desks drawers from being overstuffed. The room was empty except for two 'bookcases', the computer desk, and the wallscrolls and posters hiding the peeling sky blue paint. The bookcases were actually where the two teens put their DVDs and video games, for they put the books they read under their beds and the ones they haven't read were… somewhere. Finding the file he wanted, he hit the return key, and once again the house felt like it was going to quake from the music.

"Ahh, I love Friday mornings." He said, happily smiling as an ear-splitting scream came soon after 'Epona's Song' echoed through the walls.

"NO MORE ZELDA!" The female hollered, and he exited from the music-playing file. All right, no Zelda. Smiling happily, he went through the same process of locating a file. Hitting the key, for the third time that morning music filtered throughout the house.

"What's with you and playing these songs!" The female growled, now back at the doorway where she first stood. The male teen just grinned at her, as a dance remix of Celes' song from Final Fantasy VI played. Hey, that remix is really good… let's dance!

"What?" The male teen asked, still grinning. Although realistically he couldn't understand a word she just said, he couldn't stop smiling. It was just funny…

"…" The female teen gave no reply, but with a quick movement dashed over and before the brunette could react she yanked the computer's plug out of the wall and silence came instantly. "Come on, get ready for school." She sighed, and gently smacked him on the head.

"Ah, can't we skip today? Schools boring… all we're doing in all our classes today is 'reviewing'." Takuya grumbled.

"And all you do in class everyday is flirt with Kouji." Izumi countered, giving the brunette a superior smirk.

"Meh, at least I'm not brainwashing people like our teachers. They drone on and on and on and repeat the same ol' things… it's like a cult. SCHOOL'S A CULT!" The brunette yelped, immediately latching onto the blonde's arm.

"It's also a mental institution, a prison, a torture chamber, hell on earth, hotel, danger zone, bathroom, rape room, and club." The female teen said, naming the first things that came to mind when she thought of school.

"It's a cult! They want to brainwash us so that they can trick us into jumping in that fire we have every year at Homecoming Festival so that they have sacrifices for their Gods and Goddesses of E-squared equaling MC!" The brunette said wildly, his eyes darting left to right.

"…isn't that the formula for converting mass?" The female wondered momentarily.

"…that reminds me. If energy can't be created or destroyed, but it can be converted… if in the beginning there was no energy, but certain masses got converted into energy… wouldn't that be the creation of energy?" He asked, looking at the other.

"Good question, ask your science teacher that. He might answer with physics and break your brain and save me from Zelda." The blonde answered.

"Izumi, you're so sweet." The brunette replied sarcastically.

"Well, you're a dickhead Takuya." Izumi shrugged.

"Oh come on, humor me sometime!" Takuya whined.

"Your boyfriend does that." Izumi shrugged.

"…no, he does other things. Anyway, ignoring that! Speaking of Zelda, I had the weirdest dream last night!" Takuya stated.

"You always have weird dreams. But tell me, if it involves Zelda it might explain the songs you were playing." Izumi said.

"Quick deal! If I convince Kouji to let you watch us with a digital camera, will you let me play 'Lost Woods' 24/7?" Takuya asked. The blonde considered this for a moment, looking at the upsides and downsides. Taking pictures of yaoi would land her some big bucks, especially seeing how it's popularity had been skyrocketing for the past few years. Besides, 'Lost Woods' was now already playing nonstop in her head, along with 'Cantina' from Star Wars. Very strange combination… so it wouldn't matter if he played it, she was going to hear it anyway.

"Deal." She said, and they shook on it.

"Well, it all started when I was dreaming about Albel saying he hated Kuja, his mother…"

…DREAM SEQUENCE! Ahahahah! …yeah…

Butterflies flew by, as the two scantily clad men in purple argued about strange things that no one should ever hear, or even begin to fathom. Some things in life just aren't meant to be, because certain things are in fact that disturbing. Such as, Eva is a man… or that all good fanfictions have to come to an end. They don't have to, damnit! It's not right! They should just keep going and going, let's enslave writers! Muahahahah! …wait… oh dear. AnYwAy… the screen flashed quickly with odd shapes, kind of like it does in those Game Boy Poke'mon battles… in fact, it even had the same kind of music!

"Takuya, I love you with a burning passion that's only in a fatherly way, so don't misunderstand me. But I hear the princess is a total babe, and so I must go rescue her from this evil guy and leave you here all alone to defend the house from the really weird monsters outside." A man said, who was actually the brunette's psychology teacher, Yamaki. Wow, that sentence was long… was that a run-on? But the brunette's mind-Microsoft Word didn't put any squiggly green lines in the words. Ah well, ah well.

"Dad, all your base are belong to Izumi." The brunette stated in a scared tone.

"Yes, I know King K. Rool wants to zap Donkey Kong Isle. But that doesn't mean you can have my Materia, Yuffie." The father replied. What the hell?

"I'm sorry Jak, but you're too late." Takuya said, looking ready to cry.

"…I know." Yamaki responded, and ran out the door with a sword and shield. The brunette sat there, waiting for the person with the damn controller to stop trying to understand just hit the buttons. Finally moving, his only thought was, 'about time' as he headed towards the large castle that just so happened to be next door. Nifty spiffy! Sneaking in past the really stupid guards, Takuya accidentally fell down a hole and landed in a large puddle of water. There, in front of him were thousands of naked she-fairies flying around and chasing each other as they giggled. AHHH! He was being flashed! Stupid fan service! Oh, his virgin eyes! Wait, he wasn't a virgin. Ignoring that, oh his virgin gay eyes! The boobs! Oh, they were horrible!

"Join us…" A random fairy said, and began to do a butt dance as the opening song to Suikoden III began to play in the background. Taking out a gigantic keyblade, the brunette slashed through the yuri fairies screaming he wasn't really a man, and made it safely into a room where guards lied dead everywhere, and his father was stabbing Ganondorf. Wow, Yamaki works fast. Usually to beat a Zelda game it takes a hefty amount of game play hours, but he did it in only about five minutes. Sneaking over, the brunette picked up a magazine, and rolled his eyes. Cheat codes, pfftt… that was no real way to play a game!

Though an unpredictable occurrence happened! Suddenly, a Gaia treasure box fell from the ceiling, and landed on both Yamaki and Ganondorf, killing the villain instantly, but somehow Yamaki had enough time to speak. That never made since, and was an overly-cliché kind of thing. Seriously, if something that big and heavy landed on someone, normally a person would be too busy screaming in pain or would die instantly. You don't just lie there in agony, somehow ignoring the pressure squishing you, and as you lie dying you explain to someone how much you care about them or that they have to go save someone. Although explaining how much you love someone before you die does add onto the angst, so that can remain. But telling someone to go save some person you've never met before? What? No, 'I love you', or even a 'Proud of you' thing? How depressing…

"Captain Planet… he's my hero… gonna take… Meta Ridley… down to… ze… ro…" Yamaki sang softly to himself as the darkness slowly came over him. Takuya ran over, and sat down next to the older man. By the way, Takuya was wearing his pajamas in this dream, and Yamaki for some reason unknown to everyone apparently either slept in a speedo or he thought that was great armor. Or it was more fan service, it's so hard to tell these days.

"No, that's Samus." Takuya corrected him, brows furrowed and a serious face on him that held concern. It was almost as if this was one of those FanDubbed anime's, where the voice-actors had a bit too much fun messing up the anime to a point where everyone's confused to death, annoyed, or laughing so hard they died because they couldn't breathe. But more so on the confused side. Well, that was what Takuya got for watching 'This is Otakudom' before he went to bed last night.

"…oh. I always wanted to marry Samus… he's so cool…" Yamaki said faintly.

"Samus is a woman." Takuya corrected him.

"Even… better… then we can… take over the… ahhh! …pain… hurts… a lot… we can… take over… the Pepsi Corporation… that way… the Force… will belong to us… instead of… Yoda… Chewbacca's my bitch you know…" Yamaki said, whimpering after his words.

"I know, I hear you two at night." Takuya said, nodding his head with a look of understanding and determination.

"Go… save… Princess… Zelda… before… the writer… makes me say something… even more disturbing… she won't stop… drinking Pepsi…" Yamaki said, and finally died.

"YYAAAAAAYYYYYYY!" Takuya screamed, tears streaming down his face as if he was depressed and couldn't stand that his father died. So why was he saying 'yay'? Oh well, nothing out of the ordinary. Perhaps it's opposite day? Getting up, Takuya grabbed the sword Yamaki took with him, and charged down the stairs to save this princess.

"Run Takuya! Save the Princess! With Ganondorf dead, there'll be no one to tell the guards to feed her, so she'll end up starving to death if you don't!" Navi's voice said, and the brunette stopped. Finally… after all these years, he got to meet Navi!

"…hi Navi, thanks for pointing out the obvious." Takuya said, bowing before the glowing blue blob with wings.

"Uh, your welcome?" She asked, a bit worried.

"…DIE YOU ANNOYING FAIRY!" Takuya commanded, and this scene wasn't viewed during the dream, instead while Navi screamed bloody murder and Takuya laughed maniacally there was a really cute image of little chibi's playing with whelps, kittens, puppies, and knives. Knives! Oh, and 'Soramimi Cake' from Azumanga Daioh was playing in the background, such a happy melody! Lu la lu la piano-oh yeah, no song lyrics. Well… uhm… improvise, break dance!

"And that's what you get for not saving all the Nativs from Brazul in Kya: Dark Lineage!" Takuya huffed, the scene now coming back to its original place. Nodding in approval, he dashed off until he reached the dungeon. There he saw Kouji in Zelda's dress from Ocarina of Time/Super Smash Brother's Melee. Kouji was browsing through some random Strategy Guide from one of the Castlevania games, mumbling how annoying it was to beat Dracula every game with the exception of that one game the writer can't remember the name of right now. "Princess Zelda!" Takuya cried, racing over and right into the bars of Kouji's jail.

"Prince Zelda, damnit. Do you know how degrading it is to be in a dress right now? I'm the damn seme, yet I'm in the dress!" Kouji snapped, annoyed by the pretty dress. Aww, Kouji looks so cute!

"Well… it's my dream for one. For two, I'm the main character so duh… I get to be Link. And a very popular pairing in this game is Zelda and Link… and you are my love interest, so you get to be her." The brunette explained more than happily.

"I thought you preferred Link and Sheik." Kouji asked, raising a brow.

"I do. But have you not noticed this dream is more based off of Zelda: A Link to the Past?" Takuya asked.

"Good point. So… let's go the sanctuary place, you go find that guy… blah blah blah…" Kouji said, getting up and opening the jail door and out. Hey, he could escape whenever he wanted!

"Meh, Yamaki already been there and done all that. The only thing he didn't do was save you." Takuya shrugged.

"But I get the plot going, you can't skip saving Zelda – me. It has no logic." Kouji blinked.

"Hey, Yamaki was wearing a speedo. That defies all logic, no matter what." Takuya said, pointing out that very – disturbing image – fact.

"Good enough. So… wanna make out as the credits roll?" Kouji asked, looking around to see what else could be done if the brunette didn't want to.

"Sure…" And thus, they made out and one thing led to another. But you couldn't see that, because the credits were rolling. The credits?

Don't own Digimon…

Or Final Fantasy…

Or Zelda, certainly not Zelda…

Kya: Dark Lineage is a good game from Atari, but nope, don't own it…

…what else…? Hmm…

Oh yeah, don't own Jak & Daxter…

Certainly don't own… uhm… oh yeah, Star Ocean: Till the End of Time…

Hahah, don't own Metroid Prime…

The Super Mario theme is really catchy… oops…

Don't own Mario… or Super Smash Brothers Melee…

This is Otakudom is an awesome parody… don't own it…

Don't own Star Wars…

Definitely don't own Pepsi… it tastes good though… yum…

What game did 'All Your Base Are Belong to Us' come from anyway? Asteroids?

…don't own Asteroids and all it's mindless gaming glory…

Oh yeah, don't own Captain Planet.

What else isn't owned but was mentioned in this?

That's right! Don't own Azumanga Daioh.

Muahah, don't own Donkey Kong 64… still need to beat it… stupid game…

Don't own Poke'mon, but still do play it… wheee…

Don't own Kingdom Hearts…

Anyone ever played Ghouls and Goblins on SNES?

…dangit. Don't own Ghouls and Goblins or the SNES… have one though… it's cool…

Right, don't own Suikoden…

Don't own Neopets or Gaiaonline…

Was Breath of Fire III mentioned in here? Well, don't own it just in case…

…this is taking too long. What are those two doing? …well… don't own anything that was mentioned in here. There, that sums everything up nicely. AHH! Alarm clock!

…End of the DREAM! …AHAHAHAH! …yeah…

"Takuya?" Izumi asked as the two walked on their way to school together.

"Yeah?" The brunette responded, glancing at her.

"You aren't a virgin?" Well, someone was going to get in trouble when his or her parents got home that night.

Tralalalala…

Lalalala…

…those fanfiction people are evil now…

…hope they don't kill writer for typing that…

Oh look, a gun poking out from the-

A/N: Yeah. Uhm… err… as you can see, currently waaaaaay too hyper to writer something like 'Gardens at Eve'. This is… uhm… interesting. Anyway, basically in this Izumi and Takuya are… twins… yeah… let's go with that… ignoring the fact they look nothing alike… erm. –Coughs- Well, the idea for this all started when I was replaying my only Zelda game on SNES (heresy, yes I know… never played Ocarina of Time, it depresses me. Hmm, I really should steal it from my cousins. That or go visit Rhinos… get rid of a Tomb Raider game… didn't even know I had Tomb Raider game either). So yeah… never thought to type it. Started to type this, which was a result from listening to 'Lost Woods' in a loop for a near four hours. That rocked. KendoSakuyamon, hope this one was as good as 'T for Teens' for you. If it stinks, I'm so sorry! T.T


End file.
